i permit you to call me
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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