i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
