Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
