On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
