I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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