i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
