Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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