not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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