can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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