God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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