I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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