Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
