I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
