I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
