My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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