just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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