i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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