I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
