You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I AM VODKA MAN
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
