halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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