You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
