Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
