I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
