Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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