I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
