Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You dont lie about slip and slides
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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