Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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