You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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