great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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