WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
