I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
