your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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