i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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