Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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