I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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