My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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