Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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