Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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