So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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