check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
i think im in europe. pls send help
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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