also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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