under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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