Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
