Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
