so explain again why im purple
no
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
