Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Ladies don't puke and tell
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
