I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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