I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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