remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
