I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
