They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
