Three words: puerto rican gang bang
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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