lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
