let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
