Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
