I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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