Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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