How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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