they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
