return my video game
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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