I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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