It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
