hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
