Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
